honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize