I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
