I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize