What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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