Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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