Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize