he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize