what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
