I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Its about making memories worth repressing
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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