i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
