well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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