still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
