i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
