What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
