so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
