You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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