Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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