Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
