Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
