I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
