You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You made out with two different species that night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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