Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
