God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
