don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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