Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
