He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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