Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A+ Viking dick
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