The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
