im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
