Ambien. No doubt about it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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