when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
