I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
