Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
