I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You ruined the universe
Randomize
