i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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