Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
