only if we run a train.
done.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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