hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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