You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
