I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I love you. Go after that dick
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
