and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
