She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
