Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I party with great urgency now.
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