i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
