well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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