I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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