Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize