Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
