I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
