Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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