My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
too bad you live with your parents still
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize