alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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