I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
