they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
