I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
