I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He kissed a someone with a penis
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
