Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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