And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
