He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
