Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
