she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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