I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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