Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
