called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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