Kiss
Puke
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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